One Day at a Time

DISCLAIMER:  This blog post is very long, there are no pictures and I don't have spell check!!!

Yesterday, while in the car running errands, I was listening to my local Christian radio program.  The radio personality guy was talking about prescription drugs and how he felt that, as a nation, we are becoming too dependent on prescription drugs.  He wanted to be clear that, if you are a Christian and are clincally depressed (or something) that he was not saying you should go off your meds.  I think he was just encouraging people to think about this... and encouraging us as Christians to reach out to others, share our faith, so that our JESUS can walk with them through their battle. 

Well, I had mixed feelings while listening to this.  One guy called in and said that once his relationship with God became genuine, he no longer needed his medication for high blood pressure, or had anxious thoughts, or smoked anymore.  That's great, but also a little misleading.  It's wonderful that he has a closer, more genuine relationship with God, but, having a personal relationship with God doesn't take away your pain, your struggles, your problems, your health issues.  HE helps us through this, is always there for us, gives us hope and strength.  My interpretation of the radio dude was that instead of people turning to medication to solve their problems they need to turn to Jesus.  Yes, that would help them cope better, etc, but if they have a mental illness and medication helps them get through each day, then it is important for them to take it...it is vital.  I agree, I think some doctors are quick to prescribe a drug.. I mean, what don't we have a drug for?!  I don't think that all doctors are always getting to the truth of the matter or that the patient is always honest. 

My perspective is unique, because of my personal experience.  Until you have personally experienced a mental illness or someone you love has, I don't believe you can understand how mental illness affects someone.  In many cases, mental illness is caused by a chemical inbalance in your brain, which can be helped thru presciption drugs.  Someone with a mental illness cannot just shake it off or snap out of it.  It's a very difficult issue to deal and live with.  Our society can be judgemental when it comes to this issue and people often suffer in silence because they are ashamed, embarrassed, and/or scared.  I thought that I would share my story with you so that you can see where I'm coming from...

This is the revised edition... 
While in the beginning of my pregnancy with Isabel I started experiencing some very intrusive thoughts that I absolutely did not want in my mind.  But no matter how hard I tried not to think or stay busy, they were still there.  I also began to be deathly afraid of blood.  The thought of blood, the sight of blood (or something similar in color) just freaked me out.  My days became so difficult ... I couldn't get through the day without washing my hands often, calling my mom or husband sobbing because of my thoughts or because I was afraid that I had touched blood and "contaminated" myself... my emotional state was scary... I did not want to live.  No one other than my immediate family and Joel's parents knew about my situation.  I was very embarrased, ashamed, and scared.  But, I was confident that I could handle this on my own, without professional help.  However, as time passed and my struggle did not, it became apparent that I needed help.  So, upon a recommendation from a close uncle, I sought out professional help from a Christian psychiatrist, who specialized in what I was suffering.  I was diagnosed with OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  (It is crucial to find someone that specializes in what you are dealing with.)   OCD affects everyone differently and it was wonderful to finally have a diagnoses and an explanation of what was going on.  I was prescribed medication and continued with weekly visits to the psychiatrist.

Fast forward to today... 
I believe that my changing hormones due to my pregnancy with Isabel may have caused my illness to come to the surface.  Today, I am still taking medication, but a very low dose, and rarely have to see my pyschologist (different than my original psychiatrist).  In fact, I am thinking of going off my medication completely.  For me, through time I feel that my symptoms have lessened, I have learned how to cope and deal with them.  This  may not be the case for others.  I have resouces to call upon if needed and a remarkable family.  Joel and my parents were the biggest support system of all.  I hope that Joel and I never have to experience a difficulty like this in our lives again, but we have both grown from this.  During my time of hopelessness, I drew closer to God, strengthened my relationship with him.  I relied on him every day. 

My point in sharing my story with you is this- I believe some people need professional help, medication, and GOD to get through their personal struggles.  Taking medication is not a sign of weakness!  If you know someone who is struggling right now, don't be afraid to reach out, send a note/email/call of encouragement, and most importantly, PRAY regularly for them.